My belief in God.

Changing religions is not an easy process. (Not if your former religion had any importance or presence in your life.) I think it's one thing to go from believing in no higher power at all, and then finding the spiritual outlet that best suits your beliefs. It's entirely another to question everything you once knew, (or thought you did,) and realize that it leaves you feeling not just empty, but in a constant state of pain.

Quite simply, I lost my connection to the Christian concept of God. I realized that unless I adhered to, believed in, and acted upon the teachings of the Bible, I had no right to call myself a Christian. Not if I was being honest, and not if I wanted to have inner peace. I HAD put my faith in Jesus Christ. But the cost was to divorce myself from my own insight, my own thoughts, my own experiences, and anything that existed outside the spectrum of one idea. And that was a cost I simply could not live with.

At some point, I am going to write about what I DON'T believe about God. This post, however, is about what I DO believe.

I believe that there is One Creative source. But I believe it manifests itself differently for everyone, depending upon their ability to relate and understand it. I also think that, no matter the face it has, (or the face we put on it,) at the end of the day, all concepts of God are simply that: concepts. Ideas. Unable to be separated from the Human elements of our OWN personality. And that when we're connecting with Deity, we're also really connecting with a part of ourselves.

I think that for one religion to claim absolute truth, all religions outside of it must be provably false. Because this cannot be done with faith, (which is belief despite an ABSENCE of scientific/factual evidence,) the only thing that makes a religion valid for ANY one individual, is whether not it satisfies the spiritual needs of the adherent.

Christianity claims to be the only road to God. Yet if that were true, I don't think it would be possible to connect with Deity in any other religion. But people do. Their beliefs and religious practices fulfill their need to commune with God, regardless of whether or not they're Christian. Let's break that down even farther, to the literal handful of denominations within each religion. You can talk to a Catholic, and a Lutheran, and both have entirely different interpretations on the character and expectations of God, to the point where He's almost a different person in totality.

I think if one religion was meant to be the only path to God, everyone would come to that path because it spoke to them, and not because people shove it down their throat. But some people feel absolutely no connection to Christianity. If it was a religion meant for all, then all would feel at home there. Yet not everyone does. Because we're all different.

And I think that's exactly as it should be.

Lord Cernunnos.

 (Art by Dahamion of DeviantArt.)

Not a whole lot of people know this, but I've recently changed religions. The reasons are multitude and the conversion has come as one of the biggest challenges of my life, but it has by far been one of the most spiritually rewarding decisions I've made. This blog's primary purpose is to explain my newfound beliefs, and how I came to them, but that will come later. First, I would like to talk about the God who crossed my path. More than anything, I've learned that while we choose the Gods we worship...sometimes they choose us.


Lately I've been keeping a journal. This is an entry from a few weeks ago.

"Cernunnos is a good mentor. At every opportunity, He builds me up, identifies areas of improvement without condescension, helps me to use my own logic in finding the truth, and shows me how to find the way along a winding path. This is what I have needed. Not people telling me how and what to think, but rather asking "WHAT do I think?" He may be Lord of the Wilds, and of animals. But he represents change. Challenge. Growth. Clearance of the old for new life to flourish. Sacrifice. Survival. He represents, (to me,) the balance of nature, as well as the balance within ourselves.

He is more complex than I'd imagined. Though He is warm and friendly, there is also a rugged, darker side lurking there under the surface. Not dark as in "evil," but dark as in the fact that he knows how life can be harsh, and that sometimes life is a struggle. He is an interesting paradox of laughter and sadness. Primal and logical. Predator and prey. The lessons we learn in the dark as well as the light. To me, he is that inspired, aggressive, projective energy that "gets things done." His energy is very active as opposed to being more nurturing. And, (though I've come to see that side of Him more often these days,) I would say He is more encouraging than nurturing. He demands that you not wallow in self pity, (He has little patience for it,) and instead urges you to live with intent, in order to solve problems and be empowered in your own self.

He's that quiet, masculine confidence, and has a protective nature. He is the father, brother, and son. Love and lust. Ferocity and restraint. I feel like I'm identifying with these parts of Him through my own personality, and that's why I have this connection with a God I never believed in before. What's more interesting is, I've discovered His personality almost entirely through relational interaction. And then, when I eventually read bits of lore on Him, I'm shocked to the point of chills to discover the level of consistency my experiences have, with information surrounding His character.

This reinforces my belief that you don't need a book of law to teach you how to interact with God. I think that God is all around us, and within us. If we are to hear His/Her voice, we have only to listen. I connected with Cernunnos simply thinking of Him as the "nature God," and the male aspect of the One.

I found so, so much more."